Monday, January 31, 2005

Georgetown II

Well, I had an amazing time up in Washington. Georgetown was really an impressive school, and gave a great presentation. They also gave me a Georgetown Law baseball cap, a silver thermal mug with their emblam embossed on it, and an exceptionally phallic looking chocolate gavel. Nice intangibles. NYU is going to have to give me an apartment to compete. I'll also accept a large envelope stuffed with cash.

One thing I am going to have to get used to is that law teachers are referred to as "Professor," not "Dr." After undergrad you just get to used to identifying everyone as Dr. This and Dr. That. I must have called half the people I met up there "Dr." Still, I'm sure they'll forgive me if I upgrade their degree a little every now and then.

It occurs to me that I have never given my official law school formula for figuring out where I will attend school. It's a tough decision, and I don't trust myself to just pick without a method. (I'm a very cautious person). So here it is, the Christiansen method of selecting a school!

[(total budget {b} / total scholarship {s}) + (rank {r} x 50)]
------------------------(divided by)-------------------------------------
[1000 + (intangibles x 10)]

The lowest score wins. If no scholarship is offered, s will be 1 and angry marks will be placed beside the computation. Intangibles shall include all things such as location, gut feelings, and free things given away at receptions. Tobey is also permitted to declare an intangible by choosing a school viewbook as her favorite chew toy.

For a real-life example, Notre Dame is ranked (r) 21st, and the total budget (b) for attending is $42,000, and they offered a $20,000 scholarship (s), what is their placement number assuming they can claim two intangibles: they are a Christian school and they get lots of snow?

[(42000/20000) + (21x50)]
1000 + 20

= 1.03

There ya go. Now, Georgetown has not offered me a scholarship (but they wrote today to tell me I was being considered for one), so they are considerably behind. Still, the hunt is young. Notre Dame is the only school to put money where their mouth is. (This explains why they are ahead of guys like Columbia in the official standings, though Columbia is by most accounts the superior school). So things will shift. Stay tuned.

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