Quick Hits: 2/28/08

1. The guy in front of me in Sports Law just sat down next to another guy and remarked, "Hey, Thomas, I didn't realize you were a Fruit Snacks (TM) man, too." To which Thomas replied, "Oh yes. I am indeed." I didn't realize there were such things as "Fruit Snacks men."

2. Another guy who sits in front of me in Race Relations takes notes in a leather-bound journal using a fountain pen. It's very Benjamin Franklin. Or Fredrick Douglass, I suppose.

3. The vending machines here at HLS now sell ice cream. Harvard just shot up three places on the "Happiest Places on Earth" list.

You say "problem" like it's a bad thing

My birthday and Valentine's Day fall one week apart, so each February I am inundated with cards from family and friends. This year, somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of the cards I received for the two events referenced shoes. When I think birthday and V-day, I don't think shoes. But when people think of me, they obviously do. And I wondered. Do I have a shoe problem?

I like shoes. If you know me, you know it's true. I think shoes can really make the outfit. But they don't define me. Well, not when I define me, anyway. But what about when other people define me? Have smc and shoes become synonymous?

Here is my beloved shoe collection. There are 32 pairs, plus three pairs of flip flops (which I do not count as part of my collection).


You tell me. Is this weird? 32 pairs of shoes? How many do you have?

Tacky Prom

This past weekend, Harvard held its annual Tacky Prom. The idea of Tacky Prom is simple: you put together a hideous or counter-culture outfit (or both!) and go party. It's a good time.

This year, I decided to go the counter-culture route. I always wanted to be a punk kid, but never really got around to it in my youth. I had, however, acquired a pair of purple mid-calf lace up army boots, so the underpinnings were there.

After carefully surveying my closet, I picked out a color theme (of course there is a theme! In my opinion being tacky means that you tried to look put-together, but didn't quite pull it off). I went with the red family: maroon top, red skirt, orange tights and purple boots. I chose silver elbow-length gloves (to match my silver eye shadow), a black bracelet (black goes with everything), and a peridot ring (green and red are complimentary colors, right?) But something was missing.

I needed a fauxhawk.

So I got's me a fauxhawk.

Here is the finished product

I'm the one on the right. The one with the fauxhawk.

You can't really see the orange tights and purple boots in that picture. Here is the whole thing:

It's not my favorite pic of the night, but it's the only full-body one. At least you can see the fauxhawk clearly.

It was a blast. I'm sorry I'm graduating and won't get to do it again next year. Wait. I'm not sorry I'm graduating, but I am sorry I won't get to do it again next year.

And did I mention that I liked my fauxhawk?

Fauxhawk fauxhawk fauxhawk.

You Wouldn't Know Sexy if it Kicked You in the Teddy

Valentine's Day is next week, and to celebrate I am going to tell you my favorite Valentine Day's story, which happened two years ago in a Victoria's Secret.

I was standing in line at the VS check-out a few days before Valentine's Day, having taken advantage of one of those undies sales for which they are so famous. In front of me was a youngish middle-aged man, who was nervously clutching a silky teddy. When he got to the check-out, he handed over a coupon and the teddy and fumbled for his wallet. The cashier scanned the coupon, and then looked up apologetically.

Cashier: I'm sorry, sir, but this coupon has expired.
Man: What?
Cashier: This coupon. It expired a couple of days ago. I'm sorry.
[pause while they both look at the teddy lying on the counter]
Cashier: And that's not very sexy, either.
Man: Oh. [sadly] Well, I liked it.
Cashier: Oh! No! I meant it's not of our Very Sexy collection. It's part of our Angel collection. Your coupon was for something from the Very Sexy collection. I think it's lovely! Very sexy! Just not Very Sexy.

I nearly fell over, I was laughing so hard. May Valentine's Day bring you joy, too.

Super sigh

Well, the New England Patriots are not 19-0. I'm disappointed, even though I don't have any sort of enduring loyalty to the team. Traditionally, I make the team of the region in which I am living third on my rankings, behind whatever team Peyton Manning is playing for and the Tennessee Titans. Since both the Colts and the Titans were out of the running, I cheered for the hometown favorite, the Patriots, particularly because Patto is a Giants fan, and a little playful controversy never hurt anyone.

Today Harvard is awash in Giants jerseys. Harvard is one of the few places on Earth that you will not be beaten to a pulp for gleefully wearing the opposing team's colors the day after the home team loses. This is true for a few reasons: 1) No one is actually from New England. We all come from different places, so the highest the Patriots could have ranked on anyone's list is about third. 2) The school is mostly made up of people from California and New York. The Californians don't have a dog in this fight, and moved on to talking about basketball weeks ago. 3) we rarely resort to physical violence around here (too bad, I know). It seems the preferred method is heated but ridiculously polite discourse, which seems a little foreign to me, but I'm willing to give it a go. Like I said, the Patriots were my third-ranked team, and are going to be replaced by the Bears in about 6 months, so I didn't get too twisted up about it.

At least now I can finally turn my full sporting attention to the Lady Vols basketball team, which have been beating the stuffins out of their competition in true Volunteer spirit. Good thing, too. By the time the Parody is over it will be time for March Madness, and I can't wait for a repeat National Championship.