The Lock-out

Today I locked myself out of the house.

I always keep the handle of the front door locked, and usually when I step out to get the mail I just leave the door open a crack and pick the mail up off of the front porch. Then it's back inside to watch my new Netflix! But today I stepped out to get the mail and the wind blew the front door closed behind me and locked the door. So there I stood at 3pm, outside my front door, locked out of the house.

Patrick had already told me that he was working late tonight and would not be home for 4 hours at the earliest. If I was going to get into that house, I was going to have to break in.

I had the following knowledge: All of the windows and doors were closed and locked. Only the handle of the front door was locked (not the dead bolt). The people who own my apartment were not home, and I didn't have my cell phone on me. I had the following tools at my disposal: A pen. A student ID. A Netflix DVD. An Aerosoles catalog. The mailbox key.

I tried wiggling my student ID in there, to no avail. I ripped the clip off of the pen and tried to pick the lock. Then I thought of another method that might work and scrounged through the trash (yes, the trash) to find what I needed. After finding something that might work, I struggled for about half an hour outside my front door. The good news is that I finally did indeed break in. The better news is that it was a LOT harder than I thought.

And no, I'm not going to tell you how I finally did it. But I will tell you that I shouted YES! loud enough for it to echo down the street when that lock popped open. And sent the cats who were listening on the other side of the door scrambling back down the hallway in fear. But I don't care! Because I broke into my own house! All by myself, on my own good idea! YES!

And if law doesn't work out I'm TOTALLY considering a life of crime.