I am probably my mother's cousin

It is autumn in Massachusetts, and autumn is my favorite season. It makes me want to bake spice cookies and put out Harvest-themed decorations. Emphasis on the words want to.

I am not as craft-able as my mother and sister. They make really cool things, like incredible centerpieces and flower arrangements and custom-made potting sheds. I make the occasional lopsided ornament out of glitter and construction paper. I have great visions of what I want things to look like. They just don't turn out to be what I envisioned. Or even close, for that matter. It's enough to make a gal wonder if there is any truth to my sister's claims that I was purchased from a flea market.

So mostly I do not try the crafty stuff. But this year, while wandering through the craft section of a large super-store, I decided to try. I decided to combine a lovely bunch of artificial fall foliage with an iron pumpkin frame. I have seen my mom do this with great success and much oohing and ahhing from family and friends, myself chief among them. So I thought, "history of poor arts and crafts grades be damned! I am going to make a pumpkin/flower arrangement thingie for my mantle!"

Here is the finished product:


I'm very happy with it. It looks even better in person than in the picture. I know it's a little dark here, but I didn't like how the pictures with the flash on came out. The whole thing was too stark, too focused. And that's not autumn to me.

So, while my one success at craftiness probably does not qualify me as my mother's daughter (or my sister's, uh, sister), I am at least a distant cousin.

Back on the tree, baby.

The smc v. quirky Quiz!

In honor of my sister's post about how different she and I are, I invite you to take the smc v. quirky quiz! Write down your answers to determine which sister you are more like:

1. Michael Kors is:
a. A beer company. They also make Kors Light.
b. A fashion designer. And a judge on Project Runway.
c. CBS's leading evening news correspondent. And unbelievably tan.

2. Cladding is:
a. A political term for running negative adds about your opponent in the 30 days before an election.
b. A particular style of fishing.
c. A decorative covering that goes over steel or concrete support beams.

3. A jigger is:
a. A measuring device for mixing drinks.
b. A measuring device for cutting wood planks.
c. A measuring device for baking bread.

4. How is an allen wrench shaped?

a. Like an L

b. Like a V

c. Like a Y

5. In chess, the rook can only move:
a. Diagonally.
b. In an "L" shape.
c. Horizontally and vertically.

6. Coleus is:
a. A skin disease.
b. A leafy plant.
c. An ancient philosopher.

7. The youngest member of the Supreme Court is:
a. Beyers
b. Stevens
c. Roberts

8. What is the motto of Lowes?
a. Let's Build Something Together.
b. The Helpful Hardware Place.
c. You Can Do It. We Can Help.

9. A Federal Reporter is:
a. The new, "PC" term for a Narc.
b. A collection of court cases decided during a particular term.
c. The member of each U.S. Senate committee who is responsible for submitting the year-end report on the activities of that committee.

10. Stephanie Plum is:
a. A fictional bounty-hunter and the subject of 13 books and counting.
b. An "adult-swim" cartoon character famous for her green hair.
c. A major writer on the critique of modern feminist literature.

And a bonus question!
The correct response to "It Ain't the Plumber" is:
a. "Then who is it?"
b. "Do you kiss your momma with that mouth?"
c. "Will you still fix the sink?"

Ok, answers are printed below.



Answers:
1. B; 2. C; 3. A; 4. A; 5. C; 6. B; 7. C; 8. A; 9. B; 10. A. Bonus: C.

If you answered mostly Odd questions correctly, you are more like smc. If you answered mostly even questions correctly, you are more like quirky. If you answered all questions correctly, you are some sort of super-hybrid sister, and we should meet you. If you answered no questions correctly, you will be made fun of as soon as we find out about it.

Oh, and if you cheated and looked up answers online in order to beat your friend at this quiz, it's a toss-up.

So. Who were you more like?

Coffee Break

Darn you, Starbucks Mocha Frappacino blended coffee! Darn you and your frothy and frosty deliciousness!

I have never been a coffee drinker. In fact, I didn't drink coffee at all until college, and then I would only drink it once or twice a year, with dessert. Then in law school, I would occasionally toss in a splash of coffee with my hot chocolate. But nothing serious. All together, it probably wouldn't have amounted to a cup a week.

But now I'm working, and suffering from afternoon lulls. And I'm surrounded by other people experiencing afternoon lulls, and they often invited me out for a quick trip to Fourbucks to perk ourselves back up. And at first, I just went for the 5 minute break, the fresh air, and the company. And then I started grabbing a caramel cider or a hot chocolate to take back with me. But then I tried the mocha frap. And I'm hooked. It turns out that walks to Starbucks are the gateway drug-- you start out just to be cool and hang out with your work buddies, and the next thing you know you're drinking 6 cups of black coffee a day. It's a downward spiral.

I tried to explain my worries to my sister, but she missed the point of the downward spiral and seized on what a ridiculously shi-shi drink my beloved mocha frappacino is. Her words?

"You know, of course, that that is a completely silly urban yuppie drink, right?
And from Fourbucks no less! You're so on your way to becoming Frasier. I mock you for your choice in yuppie beverages. Mock mock mock! If you're feeling sluggish, get yourself a Red Bull or something. And when you finish drinking it, smash the can on your forehead. You obviously are needing a little more macho in your beverage
reputation. Mocha frap indeed! Resume the mocking! :-)"

And now you know why I always turn to my sister in moments of uncertainty and strife. Her kind words and strong sense of moral code inspire me to achieve my unrealized potential.

At least I don't get the new Raspberry Swirl Mocha Frappacino. Goodness knows she'd come to Chicago and slap me herself.